Yesterday. the quiet kids phone went off in class. After he handed his phone to the teacher, a jock who sat in front of him, turned around and said to him, “Was that your girlfriend?” He looked the jock right in the eyes and replied “No, it was yours”. I couldn’t stop laughing all period. MLIA
Today I overheard my sister’s jerk boyfriend telling her that after his haircut he is going to look ten times better. My little brother then popped out of nowhere and said, “ten times zero is still a zero”. MLIA.
Today, My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us. A we were about to descend, he came on the loud speaker and said “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.” One extremely pretty brunette refused to, stating that “In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.” To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, “Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch.” Nicely done, Mr. Happy. MLIA
Four years ago, when i was 18, i noticed that at night my front window is very reflective so i was pretending to dive in slow motion and shoot, dual pistol style. Suddenly a really hot girl walked past and i was startled and fell over. Embarrassed i waited for a bit and then stood up. As i stoop up i saw her slowly shooting an imaginary rifle from behind a car. We then proceeded to do this for 10 minutes until she did an extremely dramatic death. She wasn’t getting up so i went outside to meet her. Once i got to where she was, there was nothing but a piece of paper with a mobile number on it. Today, we are getting married. MLIA
